Friday, December 09, 2005
Shalom Retreat - 12/9-11
A Shalom Retreat is an intensive growth experience set in a loving and supportive community. This is a transformative weekend retreat from Shalom Mountain, a study and retreat center located in the Catskill Mountains. The retreat will be held here in Virginia this weekend, and includes lodging and meals. Click here for more information about Shalom Retreats.
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I came out of the retreat very tired, but also with a deep joy for the connections made and the transformations I saw happening in people. I found myself transformed in a greater capacity to express love for others, and to live with an open heart.
This retreat was the largest undertaking I have done to date, and I wondered if I could really do it, but my training at Shalom Mountain last year was very effective, and I had a lot of support from Roger Telschow, who helped me in getting many aspects of the retreat together.
My thanks to all the participants, whose willingness to be vulnerable and open created a deep bonding between us all.
The retreat helped me, and is continuing to help me in my goals of living a healthy life with positive and loving relationships, and living according to my values. I felt free to be myself with people and to express what was really going on with me in the moment, at deeper levels that I have ever done before. It wasn't easy, I feel like I took some chances and got positive feedback that people want to see who I really am. I think I was able to be more vulnerable than I usually let myself be. I was grateful to others who shared themselves, I appreciated seeing deeper parts of people, and seeing their desires and struggles, and falling in love with them. I think that the whole weekend technique is excellent, helping us to be in touch with all of our aspects including physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual.
After the Retreat, I noticed I seem to be more open and available and began practicing daily issues (e.g. noticing how I respond to men, noticing my feelings when I interact with men, etc.) that have arisen around the Shalom Retreat. For the first time, I noticed that I am afraid to be alone or abandoned and am thus willing to accept abuse from partners so I won't have to be alone or lose the person I am with.
As for the father issue I addressed during the Retreat, it seems to have subsided quite a bit. Now, when I look at older men, I notice that I no longer crave being with them. I feel more settled within myself concerning the choices I make for relationships.
With the movement I made, I look forward to attending another Retreat.
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